last post =)

this should be my last post.
this blog have lost its meaning.
what for to stay here and suffer for those fake good memories
u didnt even think tat u're wrong for using me as a `teacher`s kid
u bullshitty!
oh well...
maybe i'm that bullshity instead
who ask me to be useless till i only have the value of `teacher's kid
i'm useless,
i make u suffer,
coz i'm better than u..
oh well,
actually i'm not.

i called myself idiot,
and i called u stupid.

to the girl tat used me :
hey u stupid,
u tot everyone is born to know how to communicate with parents?
bullshit!
u gotta learn!
LEARN!
LEARN!
LEARN!
u tot i'm really so good with my mum meh?
u dun even know i ever hate my mum until one month i din talk to her
we only fight and hit each other!
worst than u and ur mum!
u dun even know i'll scream at my mum and i say i hate her forever becoz i'm born as a teacher's kid and everyone USED me.
i'm not treated as a normal person!
i'm owes a teacher's kid!
u this stupid rascal!
u dun even know how bliss u are!
ur mum only paksa u to study and din give u freedom
how bout me?
not my mum paksa me to study hard
is everyone
EVERYONE is looking at this TEACHER'S KID u know!
they'll laugh at me if i fall,
u tot my mum give me freedom is enough meh?
everytime i go out in public place
i owes need to remember
i'm a TEACHER's KID
I NEED TO BE GOOD
cannot enjoy and be as crazy i want
coz i'm a TEACHER's KID
dont think only u suffer,
coz tat is a bullshit!
if u wan compare stress.
i got definitely more than u!
u loser!
go LEARN and communicate with ur mum lah
so hard meh?
ur mum LOVES u,
wad i see is juz u 不领情 and hurt her!
u're so cold towards ur mum,
do u know tat will make ur mum really sad or not?
she is scared of u too!
she dun even noe what should she do to.
u imagine if ur mum know u lied her for so many times before,
how sad will she be?
I know it's hard to break the wall between u and her,
who knows actually ur mum is juz waiting for u
care her,
hold her hand and tell her u love her,
it's not disgusting,
maybe will be embarassing at 1st,
but u know how much happiness could this bring to ur mum?
u ever think in ur mum's place?
HAVE YOU EVER?
NO!
u're selfish and horrible!
u only wan freedom freedom freedom?
how old are u missy,
when u're 18 u wan how many freedom u got how many,
15 is not a time for u to go crazy and enjoy.
well,
i have no right to say this though,
i'm still learning to make my relationship with mummy better.

if u ever treat me as ur friend,
i beg u dont use me anymore,
learn to communicate with ur mum.
introduce ur friends to ur mum and say :
"mummy there are my besties, they are much much more better than tian rong"
tat's all u should do..
ur mummy doesn't trust u because u doesn't trust urself too,
if not u'll not owes use me

not much to say...
i know my words is hurt,
but u deserve it.

good luck in everything
jia you,
and farewell.

rain falls rain stops

`and the rain started to fall`

`fall from my eyes`

`tears blur my vision`

`i'm lost in no way`

`i juz dont get it`

-I'm getting tired of being betrayed-

-Have you gotten tired with me too-

-Why i juz cant forget all your good-

-You gave me your hand-

-Pull a fallen me up-

-Gave me a smile and say we will always be together-

-i juz cant forget your promise-

-Promise u will treat me better then them-

-But why, now u hurt me more-

-And this promise make me suffer-

*I hate to lie*

*You know tat rite?*

*Why keep ask me to lie*

*it hurt!*

*it really hurt!*

*Well, not ur fault*

*But mine* 

··I'm kinda determine now··

··I have to find a reason to go··

··And i found it··

··i wont be saying u betrayed me··

··Let me say,··

··I betrayed you··

··I want to be bad··

+maybe i really have to be strong this time+

+maybe i relaly have to go+

+wearing a pair of shoes tat doesn't fit me+

+make my legs pain only+

+but this pair of shoes are my best one+

+can i relaly throw it away?+

:'(

i showered myself in the bath of my tears

i hear my heart say,

i'm pain and hurt

why holding a sharp blade tightly

didn't you see ur blood ur dripping?

before i let go my hand

i can feel the pain already...

#darlings#

#I do love you all#

#too much#

#i know you love me too#

#but you love urself more#

#u love guys more#

#u love the other more#

#much much mroe than me#

#coz i'm a dumb#

#a stupid#

#which doesn't suit you#

#make u suffer#

#ruin ur mood#

#sorry#

#this wont happen next time#

#coz this is the last time i hurt u#

Can i betray you?

...

i look up

the last drop of rain

drop on the computer table

i found my way,

to go...

and the rain

stop

please....

please lah~
be brave ok?
BE BRAVE! @.@
B-R-A-V-E....
duh...
i lose...
still.....
i'm dumb!
T^T
noooo.....

anyway,
yesterday,
have a quite nice day...
but something juz ruin my mood....
my faith....
can u please at least respect me a little more?
@.@
watever....

i feel quite disappointed tat my friends broke our promise...
:'(
i got many reason i dont wan to go to k box..
did u forget?
my ear will pain if i hear loud voices....
SEE
the best reason...
but still....

lucky my daughters and friend got go to...
spend a good time chit chat at food court...
they're super duper OMG C-U-T-E!
muahahaha KISS

ok gotta go school le~~~
cya!

why so cruel?

why so cruel?
all my dream faded away...
oh well...
who cares anyway?
I CARE!!!!
T^T

....
seriously want to cry...
i feel too empty!
damn!
i
better
go
sleep
and
cry
out
loud!
:'(

sad

：“如果我现在不说，以后就没有机会了！”
坚决的口气 ：“有一天我一定会听你说”

不可能的事情

遗憾
你可以不要出现在我的人生吗？
我讨厌你
我就是喜欢完美
讨厌遗憾
讨厌缺憾。

错过了
或许就是错过了
我放开了
应该是吧
没感觉了
麻痹了

：“我现在背负着许多人的使命，没空陪你再继续做梦”

做梦
有什么不好呢？
为什么不选择相信我呢？
:')

ja....

I wan long piak!!

seriously,
i wanna cry liao!
my maths....
1st question wrong liao bah...
@.@
sign sign sign...
:')
my science paper1...
didnt reach my target...
sad dao....
my bc got 1 wrong liao!
grrrrr....
my BM worst...
correct less than 25...
i wan long piak liao....

tomorrow test PM --- definisi need hafal till siao!
PJK --- very weak subject
PK damn... i juz finish form 1 nia! @.@

ok good luck!

i saw my rainbow after the rain pours

and i stop wandering around...
stop `bully` myself...
i stop being revengeful,
in fact,
i start to accept the `fact`

BUT
in fact,

i still want to be myself,
there's nothing bad
i juz love the way i am...

yes,,
although keep bullied by people,
at least i still love myself,

yes,
although ppl wont appreciate me,
so what,
i appreciate myself...

dont pressure me anymore,
dont tell me that world is complicated,
let me discover it myself ok?

i know u scare me to fall and get hurt,
but u only let me suffer more now,
please let myself to experience those bad things u said,
and let me crawl and stand up myself.

dont push me too high,
tat will make me feel sick,
mental sick...

just let me be myself,
if i get hurt,
just see me cry,
i'll get stronger each time.
the facts u told me wont help me...
coz i can never understand tat...

i'm still 15,
not 25...
let me live my teenage life,
with my imaginary world,
love everywhere and everyone is kind...
dont ruin my fantasy =)

let me be childish,
i love crying =]