Sunday, May 29, 2011

last post =)

this should be my last post.
this blog have lost its meaning.
what for to stay here and suffer for those fake good memories
u didnt even think tat u're wrong for using me as a `teacher`s kid
u bullshitty!
oh well...
maybe i'm that bullshity instead
who ask me to be useless till i only have the value of `teacher's kid
i'm useless,
i make u suffer,
coz i'm better than u..
oh well,
actually i'm not.

i called myself idiot,
and i called u stupid.

to the girl tat used me :
hey u stupid,
u tot everyone is born to know how to communicate with parents?
bullshit!
u gotta learn!
LEARN!
LEARN!
LEARN!
u tot i'm really so good with my mum meh?
u dun even know i ever hate my mum until one month i din talk to her
we only fight and hit each other!
worst than u and ur mum!
u dun even know i'll scream at my mum and i say i hate her forever becoz i'm born as a teacher's kid and everyone USED me.
i'm not treated as a normal person!
i'm owes a teacher's kid!
u this stupid rascal!
u dun even know how bliss u are!
ur mum only paksa u to study and din give u freedom
how bout me?
not my mum paksa me to study hard
is everyone
EVERYONE is looking at this TEACHER'S KID u know!
they'll laugh at me if i fall,
u tot my mum give me freedom is enough meh?
everytime i go out in public place
i owes need to remember
i'm a TEACHER's KID
I NEED TO BE GOOD
cannot enjoy and be as crazy i want
coz i'm a TEACHER's KID
dont think only u suffer,
coz tat is a bullshit!
if u wan compare stress.
i got definitely more than u!
u loser!
go LEARN and communicate with ur mum lah
so hard meh?
ur mum LOVES u,
wad i see is juz u 不领情 and hurt her!
u're so cold towards ur mum,
do u know tat will make ur mum really sad or not?
she is scared of u too!
she dun even noe what should she do to.
u imagine if ur mum know u lied her for so many times before,
how sad will she be?
I know it's hard to break the wall between u and her,
who knows actually ur mum is juz waiting for u
care her,
hold her hand and tell her u love her,
it's not disgusting,
maybe will be embarassing at 1st,
but u know how much happiness could this bring to ur mum?
u ever think in ur mum's place?
HAVE YOU EVER?
NO!
u're selfish and horrible!
u only wan freedom freedom freedom?
how old are u missy,
when u're 18 u wan how many freedom u got how many,
15 is not a time for u to go crazy and enjoy.
well,
i have no right to say this though,
i'm still learning to make my relationship with mummy better.

if u ever treat me as ur friend,
i beg u dont use me anymore,
learn to communicate with ur mum.
introduce ur friends to ur mum and say :
"mummy there are my besties, they are much much more better than tian rong"
tat's all u should do..
ur mummy doesn't trust u because u doesn't trust urself too,
if not u'll not owes use me

not much to say...
i know my words is hurt,
but u deserve it.

good luck in everything
jia you,
and farewell.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

rain falls rain stops

`and the rain started to fall`
`fall from my eyes`
`tears blur my vision`
`i'm lost in no way`
`i juz dont get it`
-I'm getting tired of being betrayed-
-Have you gotten tired with me too-
-Why i juz cant forget all your good-
-You gave me your hand-
-Pull a fallen me up-
-Gave me a smile and say we will always be together-
-i juz cant forget your promise-
-Promise u will treat me better then them-
-But why, now u hurt me more-
-And this promise make me suffer-

*I hate to lie*
*You know tat rite?*
*Why keep ask me to lie*
*it hurt!*
*it really hurt!*
*Well, not ur fault*
*But mine* 
··I'm kinda determine now··
··I have to find a reason to go··
··And i found it··
··i wont be saying u betrayed me··
··Let me say,··
··I betrayed you··
··I want to be bad··

+maybe i really have to be strong this time+
+maybe i relaly have to go+
+wearing a pair of shoes tat doesn't fit me+
+make my legs pain only+
+but this pair of shoes are my best one+
+can i relaly throw it away?+
:'(

i showered myself in the bath of my tears
i hear my heart say,
i'm pain and hurt
why holding a sharp blade tightly
didn't you see ur blood ur dripping?
before i let go my hand
i can feel the pain already...

#darlings#
#I do love you all#
#too much#
#i know you love me too#
#but you love urself more#
#u love guys more#
#u love the other more#
#much much mroe than me#
#coz i'm a dumb#
#a stupid#
#which doesn't suit you#
#make u suffer#
#ruin ur mood#
#sorry#
#this wont happen next time#
#coz this is the last time i hurt u#

Can i betray you?

...

i look up
the last drop of rain
drop on the computer table

i found my way,
to go...

and the rain

stop


please....

please lah~
be brave ok?
BE BRAVE! @.@
B-R-A-V-E....
duh...
i lose...
still.....
i'm dumb!
T^T
noooo.....

anyway,
yesterday,
have a quite nice day...
but something juz ruin my mood....
my faith....
can u please at least respect me a little more?
@.@
watever....

i feel quite disappointed tat my friends broke our promise...
:'(
i got many reason i dont wan to go to k box..
did u forget?
my ear will pain if i hear loud voices....
SEE
the best reason...
but still....

lucky my daughters and friend got go to...
spend a good time chit chat at food court...
they're super duper OMG C-U-T-E!
muahahaha KISS

ok gotta go school le~~~
cya!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

why so cruel?

why so cruel?
all my dream faded away...
oh well...
who cares anyway?
I CARE!!!!
T^T

....
seriously want to cry...
i feel too empty!
damn!
i
better
go
sleep
and
cry
out
loud!
:'(

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

sad

:“如果我现在不说,以后就没有机会了!”
坚决的口气 :“有一天我一定会听你说”

不可能的事情

遗憾
你可以不要出现在我的人生吗?
我讨厌你
我就是喜欢完美
讨厌遗憾
讨厌缺憾。

错过了
或许就是错过了
我放开了
应该是吧
没感觉了
麻痹了

:“我现在背负着许多人的使命,没空陪你再继续做梦”

做梦
有什么不好呢?
为什么不选择相信我呢?
:')

ja....

I wan long piak!!

seriously,
i wanna cry liao!
my maths....
1st question wrong liao bah...
@.@
sign sign sign...
:')
my science paper1...
didnt reach my target...
sad dao....
my bc got 1 wrong liao!
grrrrr....
my BM worst...
correct less than 25...
i wan long piak liao....

tomorrow test PM --- definisi need hafal till siao!
PJK --- very weak subject
PK damn... i juz finish form 1 nia! @.@

ok good luck!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

i saw my rainbow after the rain pours

and i stop wandering around...
stop `bully` myself...
i stop being revengeful,
in fact,
i start to accept the `fact`

BUT
in fact,

i still want to be myself,
there's nothing bad
i juz love the way i am...

yes,,
although keep bullied by people,
at least i still love myself,

yes,
although ppl wont appreciate me,
so what,
i appreciate myself...

dont pressure me anymore,
dont tell me that world is complicated,
let me discover it myself ok?

i know u scare me to fall and get hurt,
but u only let me suffer more now,
please let myself to experience those bad things u said,
and let me crawl and stand up myself.

dont push me too high,
tat will make me feel sick,
mental sick...

just let me be myself,
if i get hurt,
just see me cry,
i'll get stronger each time.
the facts u told me wont help me...
coz i can never understand tat...

i'm still 15,
not 25...
let me live my teenage life,
with my imaginary world,
love everywhere and everyone is kind...
dont ruin my fantasy =)

let me be childish,
i love crying =]

Saturday, May 21, 2011

hitotsu mo fantasy

addicted with a song,
ai no uta by every little thing
it's inuyasha's theme song...
well,
inuyasha is my another fantasy too =]
kikyo, inuyasha, kagome,....
many many more... =)

wil rewatch inuyasha agn after PMR =)
teehee=)
aishiteru,
nipon no mangga!
weeeee... =)

mangga wa daisuki!!!
muacks!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

plang~

watashi no fantasy wa.... kieru desu...
:')
doushio
kono sekai no ai wa doko?
kowai desu...
naze...
naze kono sekai wa fukuzatsu desu....
hahax
my heart break......

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

=) hope (=

life is full with hope
i guess....

than i shall pray,
i want everything to be ok =)

our eccentric class hold an eccentric party for cikgu Helen =)
FUN!!
although a stupid teacher tried to emnghalang us..
well,
dont care bout him....
he's juz....
NOTHING =)

Happy teacher's day!

we replace good morning teacher with ----> Happy teacher's day!
wootsza!! 
eccentric people!
love them all teehee=)

2moro is test...
i still left several LONG bab for SEJ...
:'(
juz try my best! =)

miracle miracle please come to me!
Teehee=)

good luck all! ^.^

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

front or back?

我找不到什么东西来麻痹自己
我想我也不需要
头已经痛一整天了
够麻痹自己了吧?

i lost myself....
:')
yes i did...

but i'm learning,
and trying my best to find myself back...

no matter how....
i still need to choose,
go front or back?
:')
it tired me...
this question juz pop out whenever i suffer with tat stupid headache...
my imaginary world is no longer useful for me...

i NEED love badly....
if not i'll keep hurting myself to paralyze myself...

fro or back....
shiranai....
shikatana...
watashi honto wa baka....
=)
ganbaru....
^^

Every Little Thing - 愛の謳



i'm touch with this song...
nice, touchy and peaceful...
here the chinese lyric go :
`给这片土地力量
给原野花朵 给心灵一份爱... 

来吧 将耳朵贴近倾听那生命的骚动 
是的 我还记得 自己曾被包容在那温暖的心跳中 

别人的声音 旁人的伤痛 我假装没听到 
不要被这张丑陋的脸孔所蒙蔽 
现在立刻 生活在爱中 

诞生在这个世界上 
在你的眼中 
究竟看到了什麼 
此刻 给这片土地力量 
给原野花朵 
给心灵一份爱... 

虽不知该如何治愈这双受伤的翅膀 
我们还是必须不断的走 而且 背负这对翅膀 
无论在怎样的时代 在怎样的场所 确实都有爱在其中 
所以说你不用害怕颤抖 也毋须叹息难过 
来走向爱中 
微温的风 
拍打著我 
我又留下了什麼 
此刻 给这片土地力量 
给原野花朵 
给心灵一份爱... 

然后 
别人的声音 旁人的伤痛 我假装没听到 
不要被这张丑陋的脸孔所蒙蔽 
现在立刻 生活在爱中 

诞生在这个世界上 
在你的眼中 
究竟看到了什麼 
微温的风 
拍打著我 
我又留下了什麼 
此刻 给这片土地力量 
给原野花朵 
给心灵一份爱...`
it kinda heal me though.... i love it...
fall for it for the 1st time i listen to this...

Monday, May 16, 2011

booo!

nth special....
as usual....
feel scared to go norma...
well....
dunno is good news or not...

....
complicated...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

very sad day

today,
my two coccon change into two black with milky poka dots' butterfly..
i was so happy and joy,
not until mummy told me a tragic truth.....
my tears straight away roll down..
laz friday de butterfly...
actually is dead!!!
:'( :'( :'( :'(
died half way coming out!
ARGH!!!!!!!
sad...
no mood...
sick agn...
my head very blur....
RIP......

guilty!!!
T^T
forgive me!!! :'(

Thursday, May 12, 2011

cry loud loud

today omost pengsan... damn ear and nose
why i need to suffer like this? :'(
and the worst is,
my doctor is not around!!
only can meet him at monday afternoon :'(
cry even louder!!
haiz haiz...

still,
still addicted with tat song 对不起
not me zi lian..
i find tat me and wang zi got one similarity....
唱歌时有严重的气音....
=.=|||
his voice ok lah.. mine is like.. worst... =.="
some of tat song mv is like all his picture...
and i recall back my sweetest pri 6 memory...

awww.
tat time...
we're all crazy with lollipop,
sing their songs everyday,
we know all their real full name,
their height their weight,
their favourite,
and see all of their youtube video,
get to know all their latest info,
watch all their drama or movie,
YES,
i have been crazy for celeb b4,
oh yeah... past time,
not so crazy lately,
coz in my heart....
only got lollipop,
now this group broke,
sad to the max...
and i dun chase any celeb anymore...
say till lollipop,
i juz think of heigirls,
like them too...
they broke also... :'(
my fantasy ar!!!
my fairytale ar!!!
all gone liao teehee :')

why they're so special in my heart...
tat is becoz,
i got inspirated by them
a watch a drama name black sugar macchiato,
i like the girl ya tou very much in tat drama,
so caring, kind and nice.
and i feel like i wanna be her,
and i start changing my attitude,
even my friends were shocked with my changes,
PROUD ya!
besides,
whenever i fall, whenever i'm down and lost my confident,
lollipop's song juz cheer me up agn,
most of their lyrics is like
very motivative and nice~!

lollipop...
my best idol ever... :')

********************************************************************************

好挣扎...
我不懂我该进还是退~
好累...
我不想再猜
我把一切交给时间

时间它会告诉我该怎么做
我不要在想了
想也没有用
深呼吸...
=)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

='(

心在这一分钟
这一刻
碎掉了...
我不知道我能撑多久。
第一次认真,
拿出我的真心,
却太晚了吗?

久违的眼泪...
你要来拜访了吗?

心好痛...
我知道你比我还痛...

='(

你到底,
在想什么...
为什么,
说那些话...

我很痛苦
我知道你比我更痛苦
把话说明白
或许这才是你最需要的
告诉我你在想什么好吗?

就算你要放弃
真的要放手
就算你选择离开
我都无所谓
我只想知道你的选择
不要让我猜好吗。

好痛...
:'(

我要的只是简简单单的,
不要复杂化,
我不要...
:'(

对不起 -- 王子

多久了沒有你的消息 上一封簡訊是星期幾
又錯過了與你的約定 對不起真的不是故意
有時候沒辦法陪著你 你總是對我說沒關係
放不下我對妳的任性 對不起不該讓你傷心

有時候 你會讓讓我 儘管我大男人發作
有時候 你會裝作不懂 默默地 留一些空間給我
這些事情 其實 我一直都藏在心裡

請你原諒我不懂逗你開心 請你原諒我不懂聽你的心

回想這過去 我學著讓你更安心
別賭氣別任性別放棄 說聲對不起

請你相信我我會更加珍惜 請你相信我我會呵護著你
小小的愛情 卻是我最大的幸運
疼愛的 想念的都是妳
請你相信 一個這樣的我

請原諒我 對不起 對不起





****************************************************


对不起,
只想跟你说声对不起...
好想唱这首歌给你听
偏偏...
我又没有声音...
对不起,
如果真的没有办法原谅我
你可以说...
忽冷忽热,
会让我更受伤。
这首歌
好适合我
全都是
我想说给你听的

对不起.... :'(



extraordinary experience

heyo!
guess wat
our school got one bilik rehat,
with two soft, nice and comfortable beds!
and i slept there today!
weeeee!!!
hahahx
so nice ar~~

sick sick sick...
sick till wan asthma agn..
wat the...
=.=
dun so sick lah ya!
i wan prepare for exam ar!
keep eating medicine make my brain blank nia!

ganbare ganbare!!!
woots...
i admit i got short circuit agn after doing maths for more than 1 hour and more 100 questions one go!
TEEHEE=)
lalalala~
@.@

so disappointed today...
my friends are like lazy get my bottle...
i juz feel better nia...
wan walk so long way to get my bottle...
laz time still say ur friend din help u when u're in an urgent...
how bout urself??
zzz....


swtz...
today have a quite nice time with yee hui,
a girl who keep asking me to praise her and say tat she's cool...
=.=
i know u very COOL lah~
dun kek me mah~
still suan me gok...
hahax~

ok... end here
nitez o~~~ =)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

COUGH COUGh COUGH!

i feel cool now...
my sickness finally omost go away liao..
heard ur voice and i straight become better,
see, u so li hai de! XD

COUGH COUGH COUGH!!!
=.=v
i go rest liao bb~

Monday, May 9, 2011

phew-you-wit

i currently admiring a girl who is too cool for me!
Awww... i love you girl! 
If i'm like you,
maybe i wont do those childish idiot things lor...
:'(
why i juz never never never never like you...
seriously hating myself...
rite now! boo~

i heard a very meaningful words from my dear friend,
ILY....
well...
this word can have 2 totally different meaning...
well...
how bout me...
which meaning suits me more :')
tada~~

haiz..
sick till like this...
maybe i really have short life ar
T^T
suffering like this,
like my body isn't mine,
i went to meet doctor,
and he say my life still left one month O.O
(chill, juz my own imaginary =.=v)
what will i want to do o?
i wan throw all my texbooks away.
i wan use all my money and go travel,
and of coz i wan learn japanese and go JAPAN woohoo!
(still dreaming.... =.=v)
my life left a month time,
what will u want to do with me?
what words u want to say?
ILY?
(well... still dreaming. u can ignore me... fever till brain sort liao~)
i feel like dying these days...
without voice,
life sucks to the max...
GROAN!!!!

i need u rite now...
where are you? :')
maybe i should juz go back to bed... :')
:')
:')
:')
dont ignore me lah,
sick ppl need ppl to accompany...
teehee=)
maybe i'll recover faster if u accompany me! XD
( really.... i'm a dreamer... forgive me, i'm sick :'))

i wonder if i tell teacher tomorrow like this, what is their respond :
"teacher i'm sick whole day yesterday,
i lie on my bed, half dead,so i din do my homeowrk,
sry can i pass up tomorrow :')"

will teacher believe me? ><
waiting to die...
i need to go to bed now..
if not i really will left one month time... =.=v
not joking.. i'm toooooo sick :')

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Unlucky~

congratz~!
nana sick agn...
zzz

uncomfortable...
no heart do anything...
T^T

sad sad sad
charm charm charm...
:'( :'( :'(

duh... go do homework liao...
T^T

Friday, May 6, 2011

waiting~

waiting so long...
juz to see my cattterpillar --> coccon --> butterfly,
but it played me..
 till now haven become butterfly ar..
:'( sad si!

and now waiting for u to sing...
but u disappear agn...
:')

ate ice-cream with my chezzy mami~
nice lah~
XD
thoat no voice ki...
juz remember tat my ear got infection agn ( maybe, so painful..)

sleep early tongiht ba,
dont think negatively when u dont reply...
=')

i like you much much =)
juz remember to sing another day~
wink wink*
^^

``dont stop loving``
wifey told me this quite a time ago...
i still rmb it~
i wont give up,
unless....
i have to =)

nitez~
=)
ear painful... T^T
i pray for love~
=P
the warmest thing in this world~
L-O-V-E
with my sweetest smile~

Thursday, May 5, 2011

juz like a dream~

i sat with my ex 同桌 today~
feel nice...
straight lean on her shoulder!
aww... miss this scent! :)

then i sit with my form1 同桌
hahax
she din chage much in fact...

start missing someone..
hehe...
gone crazy i guess...
i wanna hear ur voice seriosuly.

juz like a dream,
without u in my sight...
=')
juz like a dream,
going backwards is kinda nice,
how long could this situation go on?
eien?

i pray =)
for love is always the warmest things in this world,
love my families and friends~
muacks

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Home Sweet Home ♥ ♥ ♥






this song is pretty nice~

a nice lyric too =)


`getting tired of walking, the rain that began to fall
I chase after the rabbit I couldn't catch
your eyes are like the clear water
breathing deep down in the ocean
call me, call me, I'm here
where can I go, to where, so that I'm satisfied?

let's go home, when tomorrow comes
will I be laughing saying that it's all ok?
call my name, call me, I'll embrace you
so close your eyes and remember those innocent times

you filled the parts I lacked in
because I was able to forget even sad feelings
I'm not afraid

lying, and regretting that
I became an adult someday
getting humiliated, sweating
but the reason for me to continue dancing
is burning, burning my soul and screams
if I continue, continue to open it I can be saved

let's go home, let's meet
behind the moon, white rabbit
let's return, when tomorrow comes
I'll be laughing barefeet
I'll call, call and embrace it
so close your eyes and remember those innocent times

getting tired of walking, the rain that began to fall
I chase after the rabbit I couldn't catch
your eyes are like the clear water
breathing deep down in the ocean
call my name, call me because I'm here
if I tell, tell my heart I'll be fulfilled `




never did i realise,
u're the home i always want to be inside =)

weird atmosphere

a weird atmosphere around me...
sometime you're just near,
but sometime u seems like so far away...
and i get closer with them,
u guys stick me agn..
LOLx....

piano ar.... T^T
why so unstable one!
sometime play very well, sometime juz get lost suddenly...
gosh...

my time...
so occupied,
doing things in every single second,
too precious and i dont wanna waste it...
=3=
and tat my head feel so full..
i almost fall asleep while walking back to home,
luckily no car accident..
really dangerous ar!
straight throw myself on bed after eat and bath..

i love music...
teehee=)
if i die young...
such a nice emo song!

love make us suffer though...
dont be sad if u fell through it...
be strong...
coz u'll find ur right person someday..
=)
i pray...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

215th post

it's my 215th post...

hey buddies...
if i die young?
can do me some stuff?
:')

don't cry...
i wont be please if u do so...
send me flowers...
all kinds...
sing for me....
any songs...

if i die young...
will u regret to say we dont left much time to spend..
will u regret for ignoring me?
:')

i'm so scared since yesterday...
u let me cry in bed whole night till i fall asleep...
why?
u let me to close my eyes and prevent tears to drop in school...
why?
u ignored me...
why?
i tot we're ok?

and now....
i started to feel down agn...
why?

if i die young....
this song kinda suits me...

if i die young -- Sam Tsui...
why is his sound so touchy...

heart break silently...
life is short..
let the pass be the pass....
=')

if i die young...
down to the max..
baby..
i need ur love

Monday, May 2, 2011

Happy and sad

我像是走在钢索上
身体稍稍倾左
心情突然大好
可又走了几步
身体又向右倾
又emo了。。。
=’)

my phone is so silently since i accidentally fall asleep laz night
have u remember to update ur blog?

sometime i think,
maybe i have no regret anymore?
:')
i've done things that we should have do but never do before...

i changed....
yet...
this is still me...
so not use with it...

happy and sad...
i choose to stand at the middle...
it suffer..
but this is wad life is..
:')

Sunday, May 1, 2011

wait wait wait

woah~~~
need to be so patient ar!!!!
WAIT....
time flies...
=')

emo a while
find kor kor chat...
he kek me... @.@
is weird so...
whenever chat with him...
he juz make me think of...
be happy,
this world is simple...
dont get down.
btw, thx kor kor for me to test my ring tone...
nice to the max...
reply my msg is making Nana happy coz she like her ring tone much much..
teehee =P

i try to smile...
love is happy
hehe
take things easy...
tat's wat i learnt
^^